I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize