Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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