she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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