He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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