Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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