Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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