I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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