put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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