Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize