I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
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Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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