Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've blown a few things in my day
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
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Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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