i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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