Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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