We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
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Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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