She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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