Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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