no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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