Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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