is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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