i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize