At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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