The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize