let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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