Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize