Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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