he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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