So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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