just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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