I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize