Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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