You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize