I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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