I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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