Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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