I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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