It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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