i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
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I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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