i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize