my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize