Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize