my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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