i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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