I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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