I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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