mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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