I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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