First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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