we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize