just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize