Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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